What is the obsession with people and weight? Is it really more important than being a nice person?

Imagine going to a family gathering to catch up, eat, and have a nice time, only to have your uncle demand that you sit on a folding chair because of how much you weigh? Without a second thought, I would go back to my house and cut ties with this person. But the user who wrote the story below had a better plan. He decided that at the next family dinner he would bring a chair from his home so that he 'didn't ruin' the new chairs his uncle bought. That obviously caused a huge scene that we could deem as a family feud. The uncle felt humiliated and told him to go. But he didn't care when he humiliated this user about his weight, did he?

Some people are obsessed with weight, as if the number you get on a scale could determine anything about, it can't. You are a human being with a personality, dreams, feelings, and so much more. Then why would you think that what defines you is solely your weight? And it's even worse when you aren't the one focusing on that, but other people can't stop bringing it up. Being overweight can cause some health problems, but so does being underweight. And in whatever case, the person you are talking to about 'their problem' already knows how much they weigh and if they are healthy or not. So wouldn't it be better to focus on something else?

You never know what someone is going through. And making them feel embarrassed about something like this seems pure evil to me. The person knew what he looked like, and the chair thing wasn't really about not ruining the new chairs. This uncle was targeting and mistreating family members who haven't done anything wrong in the first place. So why didn't he just enjoy the gathering and keep the comments to himself? It would have been a better evening for everyone, that's for sure!
 

What is the best way to deal with a neighbor who doesn't understand boundaries? To set them straight and clear. 

A person shared on r/AITAH their doubts about letting a neighbor keep getting inside their backyard to look for her cat. The cat runs free around the neighborhood, but has a tracker on. When the owner can't find it, she checks the tracker pointing all the time to the same neighbor's house. She goes in to check, but the cat is never there, so now she demands to get full access to her neighbor's house and garage. The neighbors are naturally not happy with this request, since the cat is actually never there and the intrusions are making them late for work. 

No wonder the neighbors are considering not letting her into the backyard again. This person seems not to understand the fact that you can't demand unrestricted access to other people's houses. Besides, she might be a little paranoid. Cats wander away; they like their freedom and strolling around their neighborhood. It is not the most usual thing everywhere, but apparently it is where they live. It's hard enough to keep cats locked inside the house, so if it's customary to let them loose, why does she think it's missing? If she's so worried about it, perhaps she should take to keeping her pet inside and be done with the issue. 

Neighbors can be nice and helpful, and help us look for our pets when they go missing. However, the only person responsible for a pet is their owner. We can't go through life asking people to go out of their way to help us find our wandering cat. If they have trackers, that's a big help, but we should also make sure they are working properly, so we can be sure of their safety without becoming an inconvenience for others. 

You have the neighbors' full perspective below. Do you think they are right to restrict her access to the house, or should they let things keep happening the same way? 

When should you go above and beyond at work, and when should you know to stop? When is your extra effort simply being taken advantage of?These workers gathered in a viral thread to share the thing that made them stop putting in the extra effort.

 

We're often led to believe, or directly told, when we're growing up that our extra effort in life will be rewarded. It's a nice idea, is a great ideal to learn and goes great in a children's book. But it is an ideal that is not upheld in reality.

Don't get me wrong. Working hard is important. And it will get you far, but "grinding it out" at the wrong time in the wrong place—for the wrong people. Thoughtlessly, endlessly, without adjusting. Well, that's just poor judgement, and comes from bad advice.

Workers being disengaged is often seen as a "them" problem, a personality issue… burnout. But it's important to recognize and acknowledge this fact: 

Apathy is something that is arrived at, rather than started from.

Everyone starts out passionate for a job. Why would you accept it if you weren't?

Is money that important when it could mean that you stop spending as much time with your sister and separate her from her niece? Is it truly just about money?

We are always focusing on who's wrong and who's right when we argue, when the real problem lies in the cause of the argument itself. We are so busy blaming each other for discussing instead of trying to fix it and go back to normal. As if the most important thing about a dispute is who was right instead of getting to a middle ground. That seems to be the case even in the story below.

Is it really that important whether you are right to not pay for your sister's food or if you are wrong by being so fixated on something so dumb? Isn't it more important to talk to each other, understand what you are feeling, and try to work things out? Why is it so hard for people to compromise? To move the focus from who is wrong and focus on trying to make things better. If they had done that, there wouldn't be an argument now.

It also got to me the fact that the thought of separating the family over something as dumb as this had occurred to these people. They are so fixated on being correct that they don't even realize that this is not a valid reason to grow apart from your family. Money is just that, paper with value, but not more value than family. Especially in this case, where the amount is so low as to be causing a discussion this big.

The truth is that both of them are wrong, and instead of continuing to fight over nothing, they need to get over their pride and start to compromise and talk to each other. Fix things, be open about the real cause of the argument, because I'm sure the problem isn't really money, and most probably is just the change of one of them having children while the other one hasn't yet. So get over it. Family is more important than any of these. There is no reason to distance each other over something like this. 
 

Blended families can complicate routines, but no partner can tell a father that he is not allowed to bring his daughter into their shared home during his custody time. If that's the case, then the father should change his partner and prioritize his kid. 

The child's place in the household must remain unquestionable even if your partner doesn't like the custody schedules or the choices a daughter makes on how she wants to spend her time with her father during custody time. In today's story, relatives from overseas are staying at the grandparents' house, so the father brought his daughter to their house so she could spend time with them. He thought it was a perfect opportunity for her to bond with cousins who live on the other side of the world. 

It seems she liked it so much that she even preferred to spend her birthday there with her cousins. Great choice, anyone would say. How lovely that she was apparently enjoying the time with her cousins! Well, there was one person who didn't think the same. And that is the father's partner. She said their household routine was disrupted and that the daughter rejected their home for choosing to spend her birthday at the grandparents' house. 

There were other ways to express disconformity with that, if she wished to do that. The partner could say that she missed having them home, or that she hoped to spend one of those weekends together. But under no circumstances can she punish a child for enjoying time with visiting relatives. And she didn't even request more balance; she literally told the father that he is no longer allowed to bring his daughter into their shared home because of this. That demand is completely unacceptable. A child's right to feel welcome in her father's home isn't something that can be negotiated. 

Now, what we know for sure is that the father has a big relationship problem to confront.   

Nobody keeps a spreadsheet of who brought the salad or who brought the beans at a company potluck. Employees contribute what they can, and everyone shares. But arriving with containers and treating everyone's food like a free meal-prep service is a different matter. 

 The incident happened during a company potluck as a going-away celebration for a coworker. There's a social agreement during these kinds of celebrations. It's alright if a few people contribute nothing; it normally causes no problem, but most coworkers bring something for the next potluck if they don't do it for the upcoming one. Well, the protagonist of this story, Bob, never brings food despite attending several potlucks throughout the year. 

His lack of contribution is just the beginning. Bob not only brings nothing but also brings several containers to fill with food his colleagues prepared because he "doesn't feel like cooking at home." Naturally, a coworker sees his behavior and questions him. But Bob couldn't care less. Although this coworker explains that the people who purchased the ingredients and cooked might want to bring their own leftovers home, Bob continues packing. 

Potlucks rely on generosity, okay. But Bob is not only accepting generosity. He is assuming ownership of food that was provided for the group. The mere act of asking would have changed the situation. If the cooks had said they did not want anything returned, Bob could have taken leftovers without creating resentment. But he didn't even consider asking before packing everything. He clearly deserved to be called out. It was important to draw that line to preserve fairness so that future office gatherings can remain enjoyable for everyone. The ones who put effort into the potluck at least deserved to be asked first. 

Therapy talk is ruining us

Once upon a time, we all benefited from going to therapy. It was a perfect time when people were actually working on themselves and not trying to learn buzzwords to throw at other people's faces when they were frustrated about something. Therapy has now become a place to absolve oneself of responsibility and learn to direct it onto other people. Of course, we can all benefit from learning to distinguish what belongs to us from what doesn't, but that's about it; some things should definitely be our responsibility, and we should work towards assuming that responsibility. It seems as if this Redditor's friend didn't, and she is also trying to push her narrative onto him, at least in my opinion. What should we do when a friend pushes us (maybe unknowingly) into this entanglement? Is it always a deal-breaker? Or could it be that the person isn't able to manage things properly, only for the time being? Either way, situations like these push us to make a decision.

What the friend said is valid and reasonable; it's true that in times of distress, people might need extra help and attention, but that definitely shouldn't be an obligation to the one who's listening; that's the controversial part, and that's where I think the friend is making a mistake, it's ok to understand you're sad and you need more help than usual, but you can't make it everyone else's problem. Should her friend try to have a conversation about this, or should she just 'demote' her? Maybe she can try talking first and 'demote' her later if it doesn't work.

Whenever it is time to celebrate Harry's birthday again, the Potterheads come rushing in.

There's nothing quite like a community of people coming together to celebrate a day that means a lot to them. Sure, it happens when a family member or a friend celebrates a special occasion, but we care more about days that are special to a fandom. Fandoms are the ones who truly know how to make random days into holidays that mean the world to the community, and they know how to make it fun.

When it comes to the Harry Potter fandom, boy oh boy, do we have special occasions to celebrate. For years, Potterheads have reported at Platform 9¾ at King's Cross Station in London on September 1st to hear the Hogwarts Express announcement, or made themselves homemade butterbeer to celebrate the international Harry Potter Day on May 2nd, also known as the anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts. We love mentioning important dates like Voldemort's birthday, the day that Harry got his first Hogwarts letter, and the release dates for all seven books and eight movies. 

But the one day the Harry Potter fandom celebrates the most is July 31st, which is Harry Potter's famous birthday.

Harry's birthday is a day that has significant meaning in the books, starting from his 11th birthday, which led Hagrid to burst into that shed with a memorable birthday cake and an even more iconic announcement ("Yer a wizard, Harry"), and ending with his 17th birthday, which finally made Harry an adult wizard, allowed to perform magic outside of the school.

Harry has seen some crazy birthdays in his time as a student, and probably some more crazy ones past the ending of the last book, and the Potterheads are here for each one. So, in honor of Harry's 46th birthday this year, we wanted to celebrate in the best way we know of: through some magical memes about the best series in the world. Scroll through them while you're celebrating this awesome day in you're own way.

Do you prioritize what your bank tells you or what your ex, who totally humiliated you, wants you to do for him?

Breaking up is hard. You think the relationship is going to last forever, and you end up discovering that it didn't even work for more than a while. It happens. And the bright side is that you get over it, you grow from that experience, and, when you are ready, you can move on to a new relationship that may or may not end up being the love of your life. Because failed relationships are just that, experiences that make you learn and evolve, one step before finding the love of your life –or realizing that you want to be alone.

In the story below, we encounter the story of a woman who was completely humiliated by her ex-boyfriend when he told her the relationship was over because they weren't financially in the same place. Even though she had no problem supporting him in the past when he couldn't even provide for himself. All this to end up discovering he was cheating on her with a coworker he officialized with a couple of days after they broke up. So he not only used her in the past for her money, but he also had no problem humiliating her to everybody they knew by showing up with a new girl not even a month after they ended things.

Now he came back, out of nowhere, and all because of HIS mistake. This guy seems to love doing things wrong. He had to send money to buy a condo, and he sent it to this user, his ex-girlfriend. It ended up bad for him, of course. But can't he do anything correctly? He broke things for the incorrect reasons, officialized with the new girl WAY TOO SOON, and now he sent the money to someone he shouldn't. That is karma. He did everything so wrong that the universe paid him back by doing one more thing wrong. He deserved it. All of it. From losing the condo to losing money, and being stressed for days over this banking issue. Karma is hard but fair. 
 

When does helping family turn into being taken advantage of?

One woman thought she had a clear plan: move out so her brother's wife could move into the apartment they shared with their father. But just before the move, her brother insisted she continue paying rent for a home she would no longer live in because he and his wife couldn't afford it alone. When she refused, he accused her of not caring about family, forcing her to rethink both their relationship and her plans to move.

But, from my perspective, there's not much thinking that needs to be done. I like how she's very clear about not paying rent until the wife gets her thing together… that would be a problem for her brother, not her. And he may not want to take on that responsibility, and it's throwing it at his sister for her to deal with it. She's doing more than enough by having to move to a completely new city, find a new job and new friends, for her brother to start his married life.

Also, why don't they move out and find a place for just the two of them? I assume it's because they can't afford it, but they are forcing a whole family dynamic so the two of them can be in that room… Feels weird how this is going on, and feels very entitled for the brother to request these big changes to his family. 

She's a very good sister and accepted this life-changing decision so he's brother can live happily ever after with his new wife… and she's getting blamed for not helping by paying rent for a place she cannot enjoy. Feels uncomfortable, and I certainly hope she keeps her head up and doesn't accept his brother's terms.

Lobster is too buttery

One should feel free to consider whether a partner's attitude is something we can tolerate. No attitude is off limits once we've taken the whole picture into consideration. But having read too many stories like these, I think we are starting to have really unachievable standards towards our relationships. This could be a case of unrealistic standards or one of a simple mismatch; that's for the boyfriend to decide, but we all definitely have traumas, and we can't expect our partners not to have them. Do you think he is being nitpicky, or should he really reconsider this relationship?

One mother is struggling to set boundaries after her adult daughter moved back home without asking and settled in as if nothing had changed. While her parents continue covering groceries, utilities, and other expenses, they also feel they've lost the privacy they finally regained after she moved out. Now they're wondering how to ask her to contribute without damaging their relationship.

This story was pretty funny to me because I'm sure that my own mother would feel this same way. I moved out a couple of years ago, but my two sisters still live at home, so our situation is not quite like this, but it could potentially be in the future. I don't like how the daughter pretended that was still her home, as she comes and goes as she pleases, and also expects her parents to cover her food and every single thing, like she did when leaving full time there.

The situation gets more complicated when she decides to leave there only a few months a year, when she's not at school, since the house is closer to her work. If she can afford to live alone and has her own place, then the parents should intervene and demand that she move to her house as soon as possible, and only come around to visit, like every adult child when they decide to move out.

When I was about to leave my house and rent my apartment, my mother told me very explicitly that if I left, I couldn't come back and live with them (of course, unless a situation happened and I had nowhere to go). And although at first it was something that was hard to hear and it impacted me, with time, I realized they were doing the right thing.

If you can't beat them, join them! They never stop complaining anyway.

Never mess with the people who serve you food. They have much more power than we think, and it is in our best interest to be nice to them and keep it polite. A server on r/MaliciousCompliance told the story of a coworker who has the ability to give it back to unpleasant customers who don't know when to stop complaining. This server, called Gigi, is an excellent worker; customers even ask that she be the one serving them. Still, every once in a while, some people show up with a bad attitude and a lot of demands, and Gigi handles them with the skill of an experienced surgeon. A woman showed up with her family five minutes before closing time and started demanding to be seated in a specific place, to get extra bread, to get a refill on her drinks, to get them extra ranch, and so on. Gigi did exactly that. She overfilled the plates with a mountain of bread; she refilled the drinks so many times that the tables were overflowing with glasses, and you can imagine the rest. 

That's the way to beat the system! Gigi never gets written up or chastised by her managers because she's always polite, does her job, and gives the customers exactly what they ask for. 

Sometimes people don't realize that those whose job is to serve are also human beings who are entitled to be respected. They are not our personal assistants; they are providing a service. A service that is not a necessity, it's a luxury. Going outside to eat is something we do to treat ourselves, but it is not something that we need. They have to deal with our capriciousness enough as it is. They don't need us to be unpleasant and treat them wrong. 

Besides, they are handling our food. There's a long way to go from the kitchen to our tables, and we never know what could happen in the middle. Being nice and polite to the person who's bringing you your pizza is always the right move, not only because it's the most humane thing to do, but also because it's the safest option. What do you think about Gigi and her technique to give bad customers a taste of their own medicine?

Saying "no" to the wrong request can create the biggest workplace problems.

What started as a simple request for study help quickly crossed a line when one employee was asked to provide answers during a company-paid certification exam. The coworker, who had already failed part of the test once, became increasingly frustrated after being refused. Now the employee is left wondering whether standing by their principles will spark even more tension at work.

First of all, I'm glad with the decision the OP made not to help her coworker cheat on the exam. This really resonated with me because when I was in college, one of my classmates was just like that. On her defense, she did work a lot while studying and sometimes didn't have much time to study. I did help her with my notes and things like that, but I never gave her the answers. Was I wrong? I really don't think so.

When it comes to college or majors like the one in this story, we cannot cheat. We're talking about our future career and the knowledge we need to have to do it properly, and if we cheat in every exam, we'll most likely not learn anything and then won't be equipped to fulfill our duties correctly. And especially in this case, those two women are health workers, meaning they should be able to perform each procedure correctly.

Also, that manager seems to be wonderful for covering the expenses of the classes because he wants the technicians to be professionals. So, how could she let go of an opportunity like this?

Although I don't like the attitude of her coworker, I wouldn't go to the supervisor just yet. I'd wait to see how she did in the exam, because if she fails and wants to blame the OP, then I'd go and tell him everything that happened, no matter the future consequences. I'd protect myself and my future if I want to keep working there. 

If you have doubts about something, you can simply ask…

Fancy restaurants have their own understanding of etiquette. You don't go in with certain clothes, you don't scream when talking, you arrive at the correct time of your reservation, and servers don't disclose the price of specials unless asked. That last one may seem odd, but it's actually quite understandable. If you are going out to eat at a place you know is expensive, you aren't really worrying about how much each plate is. You decided to go there knowing it was going to be more pricey than other places. Also, disclosing prices somewhere that fancy seems a little out of vibe, almost as if it was disrespectful.

Whether you agree or not with the 'rules of etiquette' these kinds of restaurants have, they are going to continue having them. It's up to you to go or not. In the story below, a customer knowingly went to a place that he knew cost more than others. He saw the prices of the other entrees, and when asked if he wanted the special one, he did not ask for the price. He ordered it. But when a $65 charge appeared on his bill, he seemed really concerned, weird, taking into account that he did not ask beforehand.

I believe that even though it may have stunned the customer to see the price of his food, he had no problem paying for it. He proved that by leaving a 15% tip. But I do think he was trying to either get it comped or to receive some kind of discount for the 'misunderstanding'. But it wasn't an error on the restaurant's or server's part. It was fully his fault for not asking for the price before ordering it. He got exactly what he deserved. A full bill to pay without any changes. You can be in favor of or against the policy of this place, but it's up to you to either avoid it or simply ask your questions instead of waiting for someone to disclose information they didn't know you needed. 
 

Where should you draw the line between helping family and protecting your future?

One woman is growing increasingly frustrated after her sister-in-law insisted that she and her husband take out a $300,000 HELOC in his name to finance her unemployed husband's business. Despite repeated refusals, the family continues to pressure them with guilt and emotional appeals, leaving the couple worried that saying yes could put their own financial future at serious risk.

This is a very sensitive story, since it combines family matters with money. And nobody in their right minds believes that both things can go together and have a good ending. In this case, the OP is the brother's wife, who is very concerned with this entitled attitude, and demands that his brother help her as soon as possible since he seems to be more careful about money than her own husband.

And of course, this man is now in a very uncomfortable situation: while I'm sure he's not willing to take that big loan and hand it over to his careless sister, I do believe he must be feeling bad for not helping and having her roast him. Also, on top of that, his own wife has her own opinions and doesn't want to do anything for these people, and pretends her husband is going to be doing the same thing.

When we all come to adulthood, we should have to face the responsibility of our own money. Meaning that is the sister needs the loan and can't ask for one herself, then this is an issue that she needs to sort instead of asking someone else for the money. And if it's to fund a business that seems sketchy and not that fruitful, then it's totally okay for her own family to refuse. 

How do we handle a family member, or anyone we find difficult to live with?

It's never easy, but it starts with explicit expectations, accountability, and clear communication.

Still, if the other person isn't doing their part to make things work, it just makes things that much harder. As was the case in this viral story. 

In this story, this 45-year-old woman shared how, for 11 years, her mother has lived with them after financial instability, ensuing from poor choices, left her needing somewhere to live. The family bought a larger house to accommodate her, agreeing that the mother would contribute $500 each month towards costs.

Payments gradually became inconsistent. The mother accumulated more debt. This, despite the fact that the family was paying for many of her ongoing expenses, including groceries, phone service, streaming, and household items. The situation has now become even more frustrating because her mother rarely helps around the house and tells friends and relatives that her daughter charges her rent, which is only a half-truth.

Sometimes customers just like to be angry. As if it wasn't about getting what they want and mostly just winning the argument.

Are entitled customers ever happy? Sometimes it seems as if they just want to be told that they are right, that a policy can be broken for them, or that the employee made a mistake. As if, with their arguments, they weren't looking for compensation, just for the pure happiness 'being right' gives them. I used to think that guests who did a huge scene over nothing were probably just letting out weeks of anger they had accumulated. They aren't mad directly at the employee. They are just using that person as a way to get out everything that they have been gatekeeping. That seems to be the case in the story below.

This hotel guest had already been blessed with some coupons for free breakfast. Unfortunately, they weren't working in the kitchen. Now, a normal and calm person would have gone to the front desk and kindly asked if there was something wrong with them and if there was something they could do about it. The employee would have told her that they were valid and, just in case, give her some new ones, as she did in the story. Instead, what happened was that this woman got riled up over nothing and started to demand things she already had.

She could have just said 'thank you' to the front desk employee and gone back to the restaurant for her free breakfast. But no, she was too busy screaming and making a huge scene to notice that what she was complaining about was something she already had. There was no need for all that. She had gotten what she wanted. Or maybe what she really wanted was to externalize all her feelings onto a poor employee who had nothing to do with that.

So poor employee. This person tried to do something nice and be helpful, and she was 'thanked' with an argument that made no sense. I'm sure this isn't as uncommon as it seems. But it shouldn't be. There is no reason whatsoever to make a mess over something just because you have other problems in your life. This employee did nothing wrong and did not deserve this treatment at all. 
 

Apartment living isn't easy, and complaining about noise is no new thing. Some noise from your neighbors is almost a given, but when does it become a problem? When is too much noise, well, too much?

Jokes about "upstairs neighbors" somehow always being the type of people who are constantly rearranging their homes, or are otherwise up at odd hours of the night doing strange activities, are older than the internet. Much older.

But these complaints, via anonymous notes, proclaiming a group of neighbors was against them (which wasn't true), combined with complaints to the property manager that had more false claims in them, really add a level of bizarre unnervingness that makes this story stand out. 

How are you supposed to defend yourself against false complaints in these situations? When it basically boils down to a "he said, she said" type of scenario. 

There was plenty of sound advice in the original viral thread, but keep reading to see my take, my story, and to see how things played out. 

There's an old saying that goes "measure twice, cut once," which is a lovely piece of wisdom that assumes the person holding the saw has any intention of measuring even one time. In reality, most DIY projects follow a slightly different formula: eyeball it once, panic halfway through, improvise with whatever's within arm's reach, and then post the result online with a caption that somehow makes it sound intentional. This is that post.

And there's another (sort of) saying (because it's the lyrics to Radiohead's Just) that goes:

You do it to yourself, you do
And that's what really hurts
Is that you do it to yourself, just you
You and no one else
You do it to yourself
You do it to yourself