The phrase "I absolutely cannot keep this kitten" rarely ages well.

The morning was supposed to start with letting the chickens out. Instead, it started with the sound of a tiny kitten crying for help. As shared on Reddit's r/CatDistributionSystem subreddit, the homeowner stepped outside and quickly discovered a kitten estimated to be around four weeks old waiting to make her presence known.

The timing could not have been worse, or better, depending on your perspective. The household already included a dog, three cats, and twelve chickens. By any reasonable standard, the family was at full capacity. The kitten, however, seemed completely unconcerned by that fact.

Things became even more complicated when the family dog immediately fell in love with the new baby. The resident cats were wary but not hostile, which is often about the best reaction a new kitten can hope for. To make matters even more interesting, the little furball reportedly looks a lot like the family's existing cats and may even be related to two of them.

While the homeowner joked that the universe was punishing them, the kitten appears to have landed in exactly the right place. Between the warm reception from the other animals and how naturally she fits in, it is hard to picture her anywhere else. Sometimes a kitten shows up and needs time to earn a place in the family. This one seems to have skipped that step entirely.

Are you a cat parent familiar with the "universal cat grab?"

If not, then you just haven't eaten around your cat yet, have you? If you are a cat parent who has eaten around your feline fur babies, then you are very familiar with the "universal cat grab." That is when you need to hold your cat back from eating your food, but since they just dive right in, headfirst, the outcome is usually one hand moving the food away, and the other holding the cat's head back as they try to squeeze out of your grasp. It is hilarious, or as I like to say, hissterical. 

It turns out I'm not the only cat person who finds these photos of cats' heads trapped in the grasp of their owner as they try to eat their food. A cat parent who goes by @ttv.catsngats on TikTok recently posted a video of their cat trying to muscle their way out of their parent's grasp to get their meal, and instead created a relatable and LOLable clip. Cat parents from all over the web came to the comment section to share their own pictures of their cat baby doing the exact same thing. It created a beautiful bonding moment for the cat community online! Check it out below. 

The job? Break into a human house. The plan? Skedaddle into her home and her heart. 

Some cats are just friendlier than others, and this meowzer in tabby cat trousers was the friendliest, sweetest feline on the street. The problem was that she was a street cat, beholden to the outside world without a place to lay her head at night. However, this clever kitty learned that she could guarantee her nightly safety and secure a forever friend by playing up her snuggly demeanor. All she had to do was hunt down the purrfect human and concoct a break-in plan. 

Wanda knew what she was doing when we Wanda'd into the house; she was making it her home. 

Does CEO lingo make you cringe? 

Good, because no normal human being should ever be talking about shareholder value, margins, low-hanging fruit, and workshopping without stirring up a little cringe. For some reason, the corporate world has become a parody of itself. At first, office jobs and managerial positions seemed like the only way to get ahead in life, but in a world that's increasingly rewarding to tradesmen and craftspeople, the paperpushing types are straying farther and farther from reality… in the worst way. 

A part of this dissociation from the real world starts with the corporate lingo: aligning, putting a pin, and becoming "thought leaders" was never meant to mean anything. But in the corporate world, being a thought leader or a thought aligner of sorts is like being Eddie V himself (aka: a god amongst mere mortals). 

Alas, the perfection behind corpo-speak is that it's become completely devoid of meaning. 

As the meaningless words of the workplace mingle, middle management and higher C-level jobs retain their meaning. Because without the managers and bosses to explain away the problems into dissolution, how will they maintain the front that they actually work during the day instead of attending a series of fluff-piece meetings and convention-style "think tanks." What if these "think tanks" did less thinking and actually achieved a function? It's hard to imagine, huh? 

Well, while there are many parts of office work that have become menial and feel useless, there is at least a consensus surrounding the futility of corporate jargon. These buzzwords may not make you believe your boss when he says you're a "family" in the workplace, but at least you'll know exactly what he's actually trying to say: Nothing. 

So let's all rally together on a TEAMs call and put our heads together on this one, because office workers of Reddit have come together to collect the stupidest, most infuriating corporate buzzwords of our era, and it's almost enough to make us want to leave our resignation letter in the communal printer. Sorry, boss, but I won't be circling back this time; this is the beginning and end of cheap corpo-talk.

Have you ever had a date because of a cat?

We know it's possible because one young woman vacationing in Europe didn't just have a great time on a holiday, but met a cat who changed her life. The story she tells the r/notmycat community is really the closest thing to a real-life princess faitytale thing that we read in recent times. Usually, when we bring you a glow-up or rags-to-riches heartwarming story that we can all "aww" around together, it's about the cat becoming a house prince or princess after graduating from being a stray on the streets. But here the cat is the true hero MVP, being the best wingcat to a woman who potentially met her prince charming.

As all cat lovers do, she stopped to pet an extra-friendly cat. She didn't want to leave him alone, and even considered taking him all the way with her, despite being on vacation. She wouldn't be the first woman who adopted a cat from overseas, but in this case, it wasn't really necessary. This cat was already living the comfy and pampered house cat life… right in the European villa that hosted her. The owner of the place owned the cat as well (in the lack of a better term, because we all know the cat owns the human, obviously).

Before we dive into this ameowzing real-life fairytale, let us give you a little spoiler: you saw that we wrote "a second date" in the title, right? Well… there was a third, and this cat-induced romance just keeps getting better and better updates. We're smiling so wide here.

Hey cat people, you've come to the right place to nom on some memes.

While cat memes and food memes mostly exist on two different internet humor lines, parallel, never meeting - they sometimes do intersect. And this intersection is nothing short of a funny feline feast of humor, seasoned with the spice cats naturally have in their lives. And their absolute obsession with food, of course.

Cats are incredibly food-motivated creatures, so it's only natural that if they control the vast spaces of the internet with endless cat content, some of it will be about their relationship with food. Cats are like that because their wild ancestors relied on hunting for survival, and food triggers strong natural instincts to nom immediately. While they are fully domesticated (even if some will pretend that's not the case), their brains are still hardwired to prioritize acquiring food over everything else.

Just as cats are hardwired for food-searching, we're built to endlessly search for bits of humor - getting it in huge sample dishes, like a tapas restaurant. And we couldn't be happier that it's all feline funnies featuring the foodie nature of our cats. Yum, but also lol.

Did you know that 1-year-old cats are considered "old" in shelters? Their odds of being adopted are lower. Now, imagine what happens to an old cat in a shelter. 

Cats who are in shelters for a long time usually have very sad stories. They never deserve to be there for that long. They are never "bad" cats. They are cats who've been dealt some rough cards in their lives. Oftentimes, they are cats who have been abandoned by their previous owners, cats who have lost their owners to old age, or cats who have managed to get old as strays or ferals and have simply allowed themselves to get caught, wanting to finally get off the streets and into a warm home.

All of these cats deserve a chance at a forever home. But usually, people don't look at older cats in shelters, and "old" in shelters starts as young as when a cat is 1-year-old. The real problem happens in the shelter. The longer the cat is there, the worst the cat's reputation becomes, the more difficult it is for the cat to find a home. 

We don't know why exactly the cat whose story was shared on r/blackcats was in the shelter for as long as he was. All we know is that he was in there for 9 years. But he's not there anymore. Finally, he's found the home he deserves. 

What's giving these boat-owners a sinking feeling? 

It's their brand-new boat! 

There's that jokey line that people like to say that goes: The best two days of your life are the day you buy your boat, and the day you sell it. 

Why is that? Well, these parents can now tell you firsthand. 

Have you ever looked at your cat's face and wondered, what are they thinking about? Cats can be lying on your couch, completely relaxed, with a ray of sun hitting their face, and look like they could be reflecting on serious life questions. If you know the feeling, you'll probably find inspiration in these existential cat memes. Get ready to grow older and wiser, learning from the wisdom of these philosophical cats. 

These cats have more than one thing to teach us… Just scroll down to immerse yourself in so much feline wisdom. You can thank them later. 

Can one compliment change your entire career?

For this man, a junior employee in an enormous office, getting noticed and complimented for his hard work was enough to make him reconsider quitting. He sprinted to Reddit's r/office subreddit to share his wholesome story, hoping to inspire others with a tale of a boss who's clearly one in a million. As many of us know, those good bosses are few and far between…

Honestly, I get that, though. Companies nowadays expect employees to dump their heart and soul into their jobs without as much of a gold star (or a meager pizza party) to reward them. Although I'll gladly accept a room-temperature, sliver slice piece of pizza at the end of a hard week, that's hardly the recompense that many employees deserve after spending late nights finishing briefs and getting their projects ruthlessly torn apart by management. Usually, workers are too busy bending over backwards to fight the fight against complimentary notions, so when a boss actually takes the time to give you a high five or call out your good work, that feels like a win, and tastes better than a pepperoni and cheese pie. 

One compliment can change everything. 

Stealing is a favorite activity for many sneaky cats, and we want to know what your cat's favorite thing to steal from you is.

Our two little cats each have a favorite item to steal from around the house. Our big, chubby orange boy loves to steal plastic spoons, Q-tips, and random tissue papers, which are all pretty mild things. He will play with them for a while until he has had enough, which is why our floor is littered with random papers and plastic utensils that have become his toys. 

Our tiny calico, on the other hand, loves to steal food. If there is any type of food left unattended on the kitchen counter or even on our plates, she will make a grab for it, and most of the time, she will succeed in taking it. The funny thing is, she is almost never interested in eating it; she just likes the challenge of taking something she knows she's not supposed to touch. And she loves it even more when we run around the house after her, in an attempt to keep her from hiding random pieces of food where we won't be able to reach them.

We love our naughty little babies, even if they love to give us a hard time.

We know that the art of stealing is appealing to most cats, not just ours, which leaves us wondering what kinds of crimes are happening in other feline owners' homes. Do other cats enjoy taking their owners' shoes, or maybe hair ties? Are there any cats out there who are particularly interested in their owners' home decor? And how many cats feel the need to steal a sip of water out of their pawrents' filled glasses just for the heck of it?

There is no way of knowing without asking these important questions, which is why we are bringing it up here. Please let us know in the comments below what the funniest thing your fiesty feline ever stole from you. And in return for your hissterical stories, enjoy the collection of silly cat memes that you get to scroll through on your way to the comments.

This Philadelphian discovered their block is covered in construction dust, and they're taking action to stop it. 

As if construction work wasn't disruptive enough already! 

This person went outside and found that their entire block was covered in dust from a construction project. 

You might think that that's irritating, but not necessarily a problem, right? 

Wrong. It's actually a huge deal. It is not allowed, and this person is determined to take action to stop these contractors in their path. 

No matter how many pictures of cats you have seen in your life, some of them will still end up surprising you with how uniquely purrfect they are. 

We say this as people with vast experience when it comes to cat content: cats will always find a way to surprise you. We have been writing for ICHC for a long time. We have seen many, many pictures of cute cats. We have put together whole lists of cool cats with unique features and unique colors. Really, there was a point in time when we thought that we have seen it all. And then, we saw some new and unique cat again. And then again. And after if happened enough times, we stopped thinking that we know everything, and we started expecting the unexpected. 

Today, once again, cats have managed to surprise us. We have seen many cats with unique fur patterns. Cats half one color, half the other. Cats with vitiligo, whose black fur gets dotted with white over time. Cats with special shapes in their fur. But none - none - of the cats that we have seen have looked quite like the cats that the person who shared this story on r/kittens is fostering. 

Talk about a huge mistake for a contractor to make!

This homeowner spotted what appeared to be a disintegrating pine tree in his backyard and wanted to get rid of it before it became dangerous. However, despite the fact that the homeowner clearly described and physically marked which tree needed to be cut down, the contractor he hired ended up making an insane error.

Instead of cutting down the right tree, he chopped down a beautiful oak that also happened to be sitting on the property line between the homeowner and his neighbor. Now, the homeowner is being sued by said neighbor for the gargantuan sum of $90,000, and the contractor won't help. The homeowner shared his frustrations online and sought advice from members of the r/legal subreddit community to see if there was any way he could get out of this mess. Let's just say his prospects seem grim.

Kittens are purrfect as they are. But itty bitty kittens with giant exaggerated features? Capture our hearts in a second. 

Kittens have one special ability. They can make even the biggest cat hater swoon uncontrollably. These itty bitty kitties with their huge eyes look at your face for one second, and instantly, every thought other than "kitten" melts away. They have the ability to meownipulate humans without even trying. Of course, we, as people who write about cats every single day, think that we have developed a kind of resistance to their cuteness. We are able to function enough to make listicles about them, scrolling through endless adorable pictures. 

But… we also know that we are lying to ourselves. Sure, we may be resilient when it comes to pictures of kittens online, but real life kittens still meownipulate the heck out of us. And even pictures… if it's a unique kitten, with some unexpected feature that we weren't mentally ready to see, will have us stopping in our tracks. That's what the oriental shorthair kitten that went viral this week did. It made us stop. And it basically forced us into writing this listicle, because we could not stop thinking about that picture for even one second. 

What would you do in this situation? 

This little kitten was outside crying. Someone from Reddit's r/CatDistributionSystem came out and heard him and wanted to help. He worked with his neighbor tirelessly to bring the kitten inside. It wasn't easy, but they managed to do it and now this guy is the proud owner of a new kitten. He was a bit skittish with his big cat Eliot, but the new kitten Theodore warmed up to him eventually. 

Getting ghosted by a contractor was only the beginning

After hiring someone to demolish his bathroom and haul away the debris, one homeowner learned that the contractor had allegedly dumped everything in a protected wildlife reserve and disappeared, leaving him to deal with a $15,000 citation.

Sometimes the universe drops a cat right on you, literally from above. 

It's true. There are times in life where something happens that we can't quite put our finger on, but we know it's meaningful. Take the story from Reddit's r/CatDistributionSystem for example. The woman lives in an area with a lot of stray cats, so we're starting there. The home she lives in wasn't taken care of so well before her, and there are some cracks places that need fixing. Due to these issues, it's actually quite easy for a cat to sneak itself inside. And that's exactly what happened. It all happened one night; she heard meowing one night around 3 in the morning and it sounded like it was coming from inside the house. She looked and looked but couldn't find anything. Then after looking for 15 minutes or so, she started hearing the meowing again. She took off the vent cover to her bedroom and then suddenly this little kitty pops its head out a few minutes later. 

She tried her hardest to tempt the kitten with food, but she wouldn't budge. Then she decided to get creative: she recorded the cat meowing and played it back to her, making her think there was another cat there and sparking her curiosity. She actually managed to grab her and the rest is history. Never doubt the cat distribution system! 

Being told you cannot handle stress after five years on the job and three years on a specific process is a bold diagnosis. It is even better when the exact thing you warned about happens the moment you take a day off

This is a workplace story about the gap between raising a concern and being taken seriously, and how sometimes the only thing that closes that gap is the concern becoming everyone else's problem at the same time. One person flags a structural issue repeatedly, gets told it will be handled or maybe she is just stressed, and then takes a single day off and watches the whole thing collapse in real time without her there to hold it together. The phone call afterward is the most backhanded validation imaginable. Everything you said was right. We know because it just exploded.

So what happens here is a process so broken it could only survive because one person quietly held it together, finally revealed itself the one day she decided to take off work.

Can this friendship survive vastly different financial situations? 

You'll make friends all throughout your life, starting in elementary school, all the way until you're old and gray. Finding fun people to have great times with isn't hard, and you don't need to be 100% alike to get along. It helps to have similar values and lifestyles, but it's not a requirement. 

However, it can result in situations like this person is experiencing. Their friend is low on cash, while this person just wants to go out and have a good time with a pal. They simply cannot agree on what to do, leading them to have drawn out conversations that go nowhere. 

Is the friendship over just because they can't agree on how to spend their money during their time together?