Wedding via Ig

We all know it: through Instagram, we find out about too much. When I say too much, I mean too much. I'm not saying it's 'a lot'; I'm saying it's more than we should know. We shouldn't know the exact day that our ex-partners fell in love with their new boyfriends; we shouldn't find out about every party we weren't invited to. Sometimes, truly, ignorance is bliss. With this type of information bombarding us, we're left to process and assume large quantities of data that might be hard to swallow, data that we wouldn't even know of hadn't we signed up to that insane platform. Of course, in this case, I think that sooner or later this Redditor would've found out that the person she considered her best friend wasn't her best friend at all, or that she didn't invite her to her wedding; but hearing about it is not the same as actually watching it in real time, seeing the faces, the smiling, the dancing. Not to get too crazy here, but I think precisely that is what keeps us hooked, the idea that somehow, by knowing, we participate.

Should AC be a legal must in an office?

It's July, summer is at its peak, and heatwaves are almost a regular occurrence across the world. Unless you live in Australia, where people are currently enjoying a chilly winter, or other places where summer is basically a myth, you must be sitting under the AC and finding ways to fight the heat. 

Welcome to planet Earth.

As Europe has learned in recent weeks, surviving summer without air-conditioning infrastructure is basically impossible. Some days during this dreadful season cannot be lived through without some way to keep cool, and an AC is the best possible solution.

The fact that the company below decided to start saving money by shutting off the AC every day at 3 pm should definitely be illegal. What are employees supposed to do until they finish their workday at 6 pm? Sit at their desks and suffer in silence? How can a company be allowed to put its employees through this in the middle of summer?

If that's not enough, recently employees learned that on management floors, the AC is still up and running way past 3 pm. Apparently, management doesn't need to suffer like lesser workers. Their floor is freezing while employees below are forced to buy themselves fans to put on their desks.

If my company decided to do something like that, I would have helped them save even more money by quitting my job and never looking back. I am not going to sit in a boiling office while my boss is comfortably sitting upstairs, probably laughing at my expense. No AC = No work. It might be time for the employees to actually implement this rule at their office. I bet management is going to cave real fast if everyone simply stops working, or even floods the management floor and starts working from there…

To reach out or not to reach out

Closure is a funny thing; it's never entirely clear to us what we are trying to find when we're looking for it. Oftentimes we want to express our side of the story before we let go of the other person completely; other times, we're secretly hoping to reignite a friendship or a past love affair; but every time it's about something deeper than just 'closing'. Some people say that looking for closure is futile, but I differ. I think the important thing about closure is the act itself, aside from the content of the message: if it's polite, if it's not aggressive, if it's about saying goodbye or saying something you never dared to say, I think one should always try to reach out and send it. Having said all that, when one sends one of those long, feared paragraphs, one should know that the answer might never come, or that it might be frustrating, incomplete, or invalidating. The ideal situation would be to send the message only to express ourselves and say our goodbyes, regardless of the answer.

A request is something you ask for as a favor that may or may not be done. A guarantee, on the other hand, is something that is promised to you and needs to be done.

Some guests that front desk employees have to deal with are comparable to little children that just started to attend kindergarten. They need everything to be repeated a thousand times with a calm voice. They don't know the difference between some words, and they throw tantrums when they don't get what they want. So maybe when these employees use gentle parenting to calm them down and educate them is not so bad. 

At a previous job that I had, I remember that our trainer usually told us that we had to educate the customer. As if they were children and we were some kind of teacher. I always hated that because it meant that most customers usually didn't know anything about the way we work and didn't even want to learn beforehand. Which led to uncomfortable situations where they expected to be right or at least get their way just because, and we would have to act like a first-grade teacher that is educating children on the meaning of the word no. 
 

The fact that managers and higher-ups expect things like these to happen and so they train their employees to deal with that just shows the poor perception they have of the clients, that they have to be treated as kids. This Reddit story got me thinking about the two kinds of customers that exist when you, as an employee, say no. On one side, we have the understanding one that says it's fine and moves on. And on the other, we have a childish adult who makes a scene over everything that doesn't go their way. Be more like the first kind. The employees that serve you are going to appreciate it deeply. 

Mixing friendship and office politics is basically like combining ice with boiling water. Nothing good comes out of it, and both lose purpose. Only difference is, in the first case, definitely getting boiled and/or put on ice.

Getting talked about behind your back by someone you helped introduce to your entire social circle isn't betrayal exactly, it's more like handing someone the keys to your house and coming home to find they've rearranged the furniture and told the neighbors you're a mess. She had a whole group chat dedicated to trashing you, using mutual friends you provided as the audience. That's not friendship, that's running a smear campaign using your own contact list against you.

Getting fired is hard, but it would be lying to assume that some of these stories weren't funny!

Being unemployed is no one's desire during the state of the job market, taking into account how much it costs to live and take care of a family. But that doesn't mean that getting fired is always bad. Of course, no one wants it, but sometimes it can also be the only way to fully get rid of that awful boss that always speaks down to you. Or to stop seeing that coworker that love to spread unconstructive criticism about every single thing you did. Getting fired can mean being free from an unbearable work environment that was consuming you. In this Reddit thread, there are a lot of those kinds of stories that make us realize that sometimes something bad can be good. 

I don't see myself as someone very positive, but it is true that there are some bad things from which we can get a positive outcome. Not only when getting fired, but this also applies to getting dumped by your girlfriend or stopping being friends with someone. No matter how bad the situation seems right now, it may have something positive attached to it. There is no need to only focus on the bad side. Because, of course, it is bad, but it is not THAT bad. You may have gotten laid off at a job, but maybe that motivated you to apply to a better one and you git. Maybe your girlfriend dumped you after 5 years, but that makes you realize that you have put your interests in stop to focus on the couple, and this is the time to change it, to give your dreams the importance they deserve. The friendship may be over, but that's the way you realize which of your friends are actually loyal and are going to be by your side and the good, the bad, and the ugly. 

Not everything that we lose is an actual loss. Sometimes it is a door that appears, and now we are forced to open it. And on the other side, there is something good waiting for us that we would have never discovered if it wasn't for that bad thing that occurred. Not everything is the end of the world. Sometimes there is something positive we can take away from it. 
 

How long can an employee last in a workplace without getting a raise?

With the state of the world today, a pay raise has become a necessity that is almost a must for every employee. Prices go up, gas, rent, and groceries are more expensive every day, and your salary needs to rise at least in line with the rest of the world in order for you to keep up. But does that actually happen? Do employers give their workers raises every time the price of eggs goes up?

In our dreams, maybe.

Instead, employees find themselves stuck in the same workplaces, working the same jobs, with the same salary for years and years. Every few months, they go to their boss's office and ask for what they earned, and every time, they leave disappointed. Until, at least, they realized they can proabably do better somewhere else. Why stay somewhere that offers you nothing in return?

That is what led the employee below to look for another job. For three years, they have worked in the same company, and for three years, they didn't get a single raise. No matter how many times they asked, and no matter how many times their boss promised that she was working on it, nothing changed. So, the employee decided to turn their efforts into looking for another job, and after a search, they found a better-paying job and decided to resign.

What they didn't expect when they handed in their resignation letter was for their boss to act so surprised. Not only did she claim that the resignation was unexpected, but she actually felt offended that the employee didn't share that they were looking for a new job in the first place. According to her, if she had known, she would have pushed for a raise even harder.

Who thinks about telling their boss that they are looking for a new job? Why would anyone do that? Those are the questions the employee is now left with. To help them find answers, read the full story below.

A financial choice made years ago by a family member can be interpreted as a generous favor, an obligation, or a complete surprise for a person who is now being asked to pay for it. That's why conversations about college debt need more than good intentions. They require clear terms, consent, and an honest understanding of who is taking the risk.

An old family decision about money can become a present-day argument. A 37-year-old woman applied for college loans around 20 years ago. She understood she was borrowing money and paid the student loans she knew were hers. But what she didn't know was that her father had also taken out a Parent PLUS loan. He never made payments on that particular debt, and interests kept accumulating until it grew to nearly $40,000. Now, he want her to pay for it. 

She can't add a payment of almost $400 a month to her existing responsibilities, so she refused to refinance the loan on her name. Her sister accused her of being selfish and insisted that she find a way to deal with it, but the truth is, she never signed for that loan. It was the dad's financial decision and she was never aware of it. Why should she be responsible for that?

There are disagreements about what's fair and what's not fair within a family's decisions, but this is a conversation that never happened. I understand the topic might be uncomfortable to talk about, but it should have been addressed earlier. Her father signed for the loan, had years to address it, and never explained the arrangement to his daughter when it could have been discussed in a responsible way. Now, everyone feels cornered, the situation is still uncomfortable to talk about, AND there's also a $40K debt.    

It seems that being the quiet type is no good

I've read this kind of story many times from different angles, but something seems to happen around the quiet workers, or the quiet team members in general. I think it gets especially difficult in places like work because there are many employees, and managers often can't keep track of everyone. The ones who get noticed are the ones who make themselves noticeable. That's just how things go, but what I like most about this story is that this manager is actively trying not to make the same mistake again, and commenters have a lot to say about it.

Some managers act like your resignation letter personally cheated on them, when really, you just filled out a form and moved on with your lifeWaiting seven months for a raise while getting told "we're working on it" is basically the corporate version of a doctor's office saying "the doctor will see you shortly" for two hours straight. Eventually, you stop believing anyone's coming and you just leave.

When finding reliable childcare, the caregiver's personality and emotional connection with your kids matters almost as much as their punctuality and organization. Childcare isn't only about hiring someone responsible. It is about inviting another adult into the dynamics of your family, and the problems arise when the parents disagree about which qualities matter most. 

In today's story, a couple has employed a 21-year-old nanny for almost two years to take care for their three children. The nanny is described by the mom as chaotic but affectionate, creative, and deeply loved by the kids. Sometimes, a caregiver who looks imperfect on paper can still understand the kids better than someone with a perfectly organized schedule. In just a couple of weeks, this nanny organized a lot of creative activities with the children, from throwing a birthday party for their dog, to conducting a supervised driveway sale with the children's toys and snacks, to offering spontaneous fast-food stops. The kids had a great time, we can't deny it. Those stories sound pretty memorable. 

But the father is not that happy with this nanny. He is uncomfortable with the general unpredictability of the nanny's activities and insists that they need more structure. He doesn't agree with the spontaneous fast-food stops and he felt uncomfortable about her forgetting the kids' swim class. But the mother refuses to replace the nanny because the children are happy, and their school responsibilities get completed. So who is right here?

It's not a question of right or wrongs but a negotiation between the parents to define what they think an ideal nanny should be like. They both want the best for the kids, but they should establish their nonnegotiable rules, and give the nanny an opportunity to follow them. Childcare is usually a two "yes" decision, so both parents need to trust the person responsible for their children.  And although this nanny's adventures were harmless and sweet adventures, other activities can raise reasonable questions about healthy habits, supervision and clear communication. 

Clever comeback or huge mistake?

I hate when I'm talking to somebody, and they say something really mean, and I can't respond with a clever comeback in time. That moment usually stays with me for days, until one moment –probably when I'm about to fall asleep or when I'm showering– I think of the perfect answer. The perfect comeback to the unsolicited backhanded thing that somebody said to me. To which I simply stared in disbelief. You may think that this kind of situation ends in high school. Unfortunately, they don't. If you ever worked on-site in a corporate office, you know that it's full of this kind of comment. They just aren't as direct. 

It can be a silly, sarcastic comment that seems to be just a little joke, but it isn't. Is never well-intended, and the fact that you respond, just staring in disbelief, makes you look bad. When you work in this type of environment, you need to get a grip. Make your brain work faster. Always be prepared for the unwarranted comment with a more backhanded and clever one. You may think that avoiding that type of situation is better, and maybe it is. But when you've been in this situation, you think about that. You think about getting out of the situation with a good enough response so that this doesn't happen again ever. 
 

This Reddit thread gave a sense of closure, like if I was the one clever enough to come back with this type of response. And even though some of them are very risky, as they were to bosses and higher-ups. Most of them finished nicely for the underdog. It's quite fun seeing this from another perspective that provides you the possibility to actually get a good resolution from standing up for yourself, without creating a huge scene about it. So now, these are my favorite stories on the thread. That pretty much sums up what it is like to actually have a response to that unconstructive criticism that you received. 
 

When does a pet become a "premium tenant"?

Every time I think I've heard the wildest landlord story imaginable, someone manages to raise the bar. Usually it's a security deposit disappearing into thin air or a landlord insisting that "normal wear and tear" includes existing before you moved in. But charging pet rent... for a hamster? That's a new one. I'm genuinely trying to picture the thought process here. Dogs? I get it. Cats? Sure, they can scratch things. But a hamster spends about 99% of its life either sleeping, stuffing its cheeks with food, or aggressively running nowhere on a tiny wheel. The only property it's capable of damaging is its own wooden chew toys.

I also can't stop laughing at the idea of a hamster being charged rent. Is this little guy getting access to the building gym? Does he have reserved parking? Is there a hamster concierge I don't know about? Because if you're asking for $50 every month, I'd expect this rodent to at least have some amenities.

The wildest part is imagining this tiny creature being treated like some sort of high-risk tenant. Like the landlord walked past the cage during the inspection, narrowed their eyes, and thought, "Yep... that's where my profits have been hiding." Meanwhile, the hamster is probably asleep under a pile of bedding, blissfully unaware that it's apparently become a financial liability.

How usual do you think it is for employees to feel underappreciated by their bosses? 

Everybody wants to do their best in the workforce. We show up on time, we do our duties, we pretend that everything is okay, and we don't complain to our bosses over minor things. All we ever expect in return is an appropriate salary and decent human treatment. 

We don't want to be labeled as "difficult" at work, so most of us try to pick and choose what we want to make a fuss over in the office.  Of course, there are exceptions for big issues that upper management should always be aware of so they can take care of it. However, we can fend for ourselves with those day-to-day tasks. If we're self-sufficient, don't complain, and make it easier for everyone, the logic is that our bosses will eventually realize how valuable we are as an employee. 

However, Reddit user u/sophieximc recently found out that it doesn't always work like that. He accidentally was emailed his own performance report. The document said that everything was "okay" with him, and that he didn't need to get a big raise, because he wasn't "complaining or asking for it."

Those are the consequences of being a people pleaser: being looked over. Luckily, that email pushed the Redditor to stand up for himself and start searching for a job that values him and gives him the salary he deserves. Good for him! Hopefully, the company will realize that they lost a good employee with a great work ethic who they dismissed and underappreciated. 

Nothing like slowly leaving to prove a point

I think this employee was very clever about how he pulled this off. Obviously, I don't think the tactic is bulletproof, but it definitely worked for him. I also loved the figurine's involvement and how, years later, it turned out to be a treasure for other reasons. So this is a post about quick ways to change your boss's opinion of you, but also a commentary on memory and how objects can change their meanings with time.

It appears this worker knew he had to implement the fact that nobody misses the water till the well runs dry. I'm surprised such a basic tactic worked, but probably we're all more basic than we'd like to imagine.

An office desk may belong to a company, but once someone works there every day, it becomes more than a piece of wood and a monitor. Employees personalize their workstation as they please. They adjust the chair, put their personal belongings on it, organize their notebooks, and bring plants or family photos. So, walking in to find someone else using your desk can definitely feel intrusive. 

Especially when the company has several designated workstations available, there's no need for a coworker to steal your desk when you are away. It's your personal space, and everyone has an established space. Visiting employees are supposed to use the available hot desks, but a coworker in today's story seems to have a strong preference for a woman's personal desk. He changes the height of the standing desk, uses her equipment, and moves her papers. And it's not the first time that she's found her belongings moved again. Reasonably, she's getting tired of this recurring situation.  

What's even worse is that, after her maternity leave, she displayed photos of her and her baby in her workstation, which made the space feel a lot more personal. And do you think he stopped using her space? Well, no. He continued setting up there, and he didn't seem to care to be looking at her baby's face while working. It's understandable that she feels uncomfortable with this. 

Now she clearly needs to have a conversation with him. Some people treat silence as permission, so it's time to set a clear boundary. He won't stop doing it without a clear message from her side. It doesn't need to be a dramatic confrontation; just a simple, kind message setting a workplace boundary in a shared office should be enough. 

How do you handle a neighbor who has the complete inability to respect social (and physical) boundaries?

Recent technological developments have revealed to us a number of everyday curiosities that were probably actually taking place for years outside of the immediate scope of our attention. Probably, for years, these small things went completely unnoticed, small boundaries being tested out of sight and out of mind. 

Neighbors possibly helping themselves to some fruit from your trees or that shovel you left out now and then. Harmless little things that might have been a test of a boundary but otherwise were probably never going to be an issue. These things might even start in the right direction, with neighbors asking to borrow things, small at first and then increasing. But soon, the good actions cease, permission stops being asked, and boundaries are pushed, and then crossed. 

But then, perhaps, that same technology has also possibly pushed us farther apart. 

As the internet, social media, and modern communication has made communcation, theoretically, all the more easy, we have, as we invest more time into that virtual communcation, all become increasingly isolated from our communities, even from our most immediate neighbors, and that sense of distrust has made us all the more eager to install surveillance cameras built into their doorbells, then entire home surveillance systems as soon as they became available. 

Before surveillance systems were within reach in terms of startup costs and cost-effective for the working-class homeowner, it also would have been a lot more common in those same communities for each of us to know our neighbors and have some level of rapport and mutual respect for one another. You'd probably well know who you could trust and who you couldn't. 

What to do when you are constantly being excluded

Being a scapegoat is not easy, especially if you are one in your family. This Redditor wonders how to soften what she confessed to her family (that she is almost never included), and I think it might be time to stop explaining and explore other groups of people. Dynamics, to continue functioning, have to be fed through both sides; if one stops, the dynamic can't perpetuate itself. Of course, this is much easier said than done, particularly when we're talking about family, but I think the OP is one step away from breaking free from feeling excluded.

Why (and when) does commute stop being personal time and start becoming work?

This story explains perfectly how I feel about RTO policies. A remote worker was asked to return to the office three times a week, which for him is a struggle since he lives 45 minutes away. After carefully doing the math, he asked HR to cover the daily commute he had to endure, with a monthly cost of $190. HR, as we can expect, declined his request and gave him the most vague answer ever.

I'm not against working at the office. On the contrary: I think we can all benefit from face-to-face interactions, and those beloved coffee breaks. The problem appears when the company, which had been working remotely for years now, expects people to shift their routine entirely just to fit the new policy. There's nothing wrong with wanting your employees back there: the issue arises when you cannot accommodate their demands.

Now, in the case of the employee, he requested the company to cover the money it costs him to commute three times a week, since it's an expense he was not considering. Of course, HR denied it and told him that everyone is responsible for the way they manage to get to the office. That's it: no other solution other than a vague and not helpful response.

The remote worker admits by the end that he wasn't expecting a "yes" from the company: he just wanted to test them. As he states at the bottom, he confirmed that all of those years of good work led him to standard replies and no help at all. I think we can learn that sometimes, the best approach when it comes to our place of work is just to accept what they give us and analyze for ourselves if it's worth it or not. 

Business partnerships are supposed to be like a three-legged race, everyone moving together toward a shared goal. What actually happens sometimes is one person named Claire tapes their leg to yours, throws you in a ditch, and then sends you an invoice for the ditch.