Setting boundaries is hard, but when it is with coworkers you have to see every day, it's harder.

Entitled people are everywhere, and it is not uncommon to have them as coworkers. Asking you for thousands of favors but never offer to repay you. These ungrateful beings that love the idea of someone doing something for them but hate getting confronted for their lack of repayment are especially annoying when you have to put up with them every day for more than 8 hours a day. You can't escape them or make excuses to avoid them because you will have to see them the next day. You can't run away from them forever.

In this Reddit story, this employee is tired of being taken advantage of by a lazy coworker who not only asks people to go out of their way to get him lunch but also does not repay them when they come back. The worst thing is not the money, but also the fact that he never offers to do it in return or to invite lunch as a way to repay. He just forces other people to take on his expenses without their consent. He takes advantage of friendly co workers that thought it was a one-time favor. That shows the kind of person he is, a bad one, someone who uses other people for their benefit without any shame. He also has to see the people he exploited every day, but he does not care. Not even a second thought. He just pretends it's fine to ask them again. All because no one dares to confront him or wants to, as it's happening in the work environment.

These coworkers who are being pawns of this horrible man need to stand up for themselves. Start saying no, which, by the way, is a full sentence. No. I don't want to get you lunch and pay for it. Get your lunch by yourself like an adult and stop using nice people who are trying to be helpful for your own benefit.

Can your employer take back approved time off because someone else wants it?

Sometimes, things don't go as planned. And that can certainly happen when we are talking about requesting time off at work. This employee had a vacation planned at a winery, and requested a couple of days in advance… four months in advance to be exact. Suddenly, just when the vacation days were arriving, the managers called them and asked them to reconsider the days off since other managers complained about it. The weird thing is that the manager who complained was the one who had approved those days before… things started to get fishy in there.

I'll let you find out by yourself what happened with this story, although needless to say, it's an unfortunate situation to have to deal with. I really don't understand how sometimes things cannot work on their own. I mean, if a manager approves your days off, then there's no way those days can be changed. And especially when we're talking about a vacation. Attractions, restaurants, and accommodations get booked in advance, and sometimes, a few of them demand to be paid before arrival.

By the end of the story, the OP mentions there's nothing special going on that week, so there's no reason why they would like them to change (or reschedule) the vacation. In their minds, there's something more complicated going on, and it even would seem to be personal. Of course, there's no evidence of that, so the employee has to see what's going to happen with their days off.

The most important thing, and I celebrate that they've done this, is to demand whatever that you feel you deserve, mainly when it comes to work-related things. If you requested a couple of days off in advance because of a vacation, you're entitled to demand them if, for some reason, they are revoked. Let me know in the comments what your opinion is on this situation because, although it seems unreal, there are situations where these things are common and happen more than we would think.  

Large organizations, and especially corporations, have everything down to a number: there is a reason and a cost to everything they do, and the reason is the cost. And when it comes to entities that follow that corporate "everything is a number" bottom line, well, banks are at the tip of that iceberg. Banks are business at its purest form. Precisely calculated financial columns in a spreadsheet are basically all a bank is, after all. 

There are a lot of good reasons why an employer will not give you a raise. But most of them boil down to two reasons: 

1. It costs us more.
2. We don't have to.

As I write about often, no one likes to pay for anything that they don't have to, and organizations are no different.

Splitting the bill: modern-day equality or just a way for men to be less romantic?

Splitting a bill is not a problem in itself. It is common and understandable. But it can be a problem depending on how you do it. If someone says they are inviting you to dinner and then expect to split the bill, well, that is not good. Most probably, the invitee expected the inviter to pay. If you go out on a first date and the other person says, "I got this." They pay the bill, and when you get home, you receive a message saying you owe them half. That is tacky and lame. And lastly, if someone says "it's my treat" and then demands that you pay for your staff, it's also wrong.
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This summary is basically a guide to avoid being inconsiderate, but it also applies to the person being invited. I think that when someone offers to pay for your food, that means you also have to be mindful of what you order. Try not to be more expensive than what the other person is having, and maybe don't ask for dessert if the other person isn't ordering one.
 

In this Reddit story, the girl was invited by her boyfriend to have dinner at a restaurant to congratulate her for her new job. He did say the word INVITE, so she expected to be invited, of course. After dinner, she was asked to pay for half, which she did but felt a little confused. The issue is not the fact that she had to pay half. That is perfectly fine. But maybe don't say you are inviting someone if you are going to make them pay. Especially if all that is only to prove a point to your friends that now you won't have to invite her anymore because she has her own salary. That is cheap. If he would just ask her to split from the beginning, then everything would have been fine.
 

The nice guy trope

I never thought this could be possible. Part of the reason 'nice guys' existed as a cultural phenomenon was that they were unable to see what they were doing wrong. It was always all about them and how, apparently, everyone disrespected them. I'm starting to believe in the power of cinema now, or maybe I already did; it has proven itself to be one of the most effective means by which someone can spread a message. Plenty of societies have used cinema in their favour before, but now it's been used to the service of girls! I love it. Want to hear how this nice guy's recovery started?

Is there a middle ground between getting the wedding of your dreams and ripping off your best friends? 

All future brides have a very clear idea of what they want their wedding to look like. The dress, the flowers, the decorations, the ceremony, the bachelorette party, and I could go on. It's a very special moment in every bride's life. But if they dream of the white wedding in a garden, or on a beach, or wherever, it's a whole event to prepare for months. And it can take a lot of money to plan. 

Redditor u/West-Environment3462 unintentionally discovered the cost of a dream wedding. Her best friend of 17 years got engaged and asked her to be a bridesmaid. Then, she sent a spreadsheet with everything she would have to buy and pay for: dress, shoes, bachelorette pajamas, gifts, and so on. The total amount was about 4700$. That's a loooot of money for a single person to spend on somebody else. This friend actually can't afford all that, just a few things- because she has to pay rent, student loans, and car repairs. The so-called bestie said that money was a part of showing up for her. What a manipulative little excuse of a friend. 

I've been a bridesmaid twice, and soon I'll be one again. Not one of those times did any of my friends ask me to spend an awful lot of money on exaggerated items. All they ever asked me and the rest of the wedding party was to be there for them and help in any way we could. We helped with the flower arrangements, centerpieces, decorating the salon, and making the cakes. Bachelorette? A day of home spa with the girls. Dresses? Wear what you feel comfortable and pretty in. 

I know in some places it is customary to go all out for a wedding reception, and we're not going to judge anyone. However, the whole point of getting married is to share your life with someone you love, and the party is to share that happiness with your closest friends and family. No one should be obligated to go out of their way to cater to your whims. And all friends have equal rights to share your happy day, even if they are not of equal means.

When a property line ruins the relationship you have with your new neighbor…

A family purchased a new home and planned to install a fence to safely enclose their backyard for their toddler and dog. After analyzing the land survey, they discovered their property extended about 10 feet into an area their neighbor has been mowing and maintaining. When fence construction began along the actual property line, the neighbor became upset and demanded the project be stopped. 

Property disputes often become emotional because people grow attached to spaces they have used for years, regardless of where the legal boundary actually sits. A survey can reveal information that feels surprising or even unfair to someone who believed a piece of land was theirs, creating tension even when no rules have been broken.

But, at the same time, every homeowner should expect to use and improve the property they bought. Installing a fence for privacy, safety, or pets is very common practice, especially for families with little children. When the fence remains entirely within the owner's property line, many people view it as a straightforward exercise of property rights.

This kind of situation shows how quickly neighbor relationships can become complicated. While maintaining good communication is important, there is often a difference between informing neighbors about a project and asking for permission. In many cases, the challenge is finding balance between being considerate and moving forward with reasonable plans for your own property.

When the help is not helping

Very often, our parents want to help us or gift us something to make our lives easier, and they end up making it way more complicated. When we're offered something like this, we tend to accept because we want THEM to feel they are collaborating in some way, not because we really want what's being gifted to us. This soon-to-be bride shared a story about a mother-in-law who seems to have taken things too far with her involvement. The question is, did she really?

Free time for some, unpaid extra hours for others.

​Those jobs that think just because they pay you a salary, that you deserve it because of your work, are entitled to use all your time like it's theirs. They think they pay for you, like a slave, but no, they in fact only pay for you to work for the hours that your shift consists of. And there is also a common misconception that makes employees believe that just because they have a job from 9 to 5, they HAVE to correspond to bosses and managers before 9 and after 5. Is understandable their position. They probably think that if they ignore the intent of contact, they can get fired or have their career stuck. But actually, there is no right for a manager to be contacting an employee outside of normal work hours. And they shouldn't do it at all, unless there is some kind of emergency that cannot wait till the next shift.
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What is worse is to have a hypocritical manager. Like in this Reddit story, the boss complained about being reached after hours, even though it was over something that the employee thought was utterly important. But then instead of using that opportunity to set boundaries for everyone in the team, she continues to contact employees after hours for mundane things that weren't relevant enough to be bothering someone in their free time. This manager had no problem placing boundaries for herself but could not understand that it also applied to the people below her.
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This behavior is so common in management. Being so worried about people knowing when to contact you but completely forgetting that everyone below you also deserved to enjoy their free time without being bothered. As if when they advance in their career. They, at the same time, start to forget the people they met along the way. They forget that once they were also a normal employee who didn't like to be bothered in their free time. Jobs should have stricter policies about this to avoid having overworked employees. Work is important, but if you are not a doctor, nothing is really that urgent.

From enemies to buddies

It's funny how we act around timid personalities. We project all kinds of dark character traits when, in reality, we don't know anything about them precisely because they are so reserved. I'm glad this employee found out about her coworker's real personality in the best way possible. Her finding out he wasn't so evil after all wasn't that shocking; what was shocking was his refusal to accept anything in exchange afterwards. I've never seen someone with such strict moral values in real life before. Have you?

Is a heatwave a good enough reason to ignore someone's boundaries?

This girlfriend got frustrated when her boyfriend asked her to use her car during the heatwave since his car doesn't have AC. Although this could seem innocent, she was very hesitant since he damaged two of her previous cars. He tends to be very careless, and she is not comfortable lending her the car because she can except how it's going to be returned. 

I'm standing firmly with the OP here since I'd never lend my car to someone who's not going to be responsible with it. I understand that the heatwave is crazy and that he would like to drive with the AC on, but if he's not going to be careful, then I wouldn't.

The thing that makes this story pretty interesting is that the disagreement is not really about the vehicle, but rather about how something shared between partners cannot be cared for in the same way. While someone sees a car, the other sees it as years of evidence that make them hesitant to hand it over again. Both people end up arguing about the favor, but the issue is trust.

I do believe that setting boundaries is not the same as refusing to help. There's a big difference between saying "no" and still trying to fix the problem. In this case, she offered to give him a ride to practice and them to pick him up, and he refused.

Maybe that's why situations like this spark so much debate online. Most people agree that relationships require generosity, but they also need accountability. When someone repeatedly damages, loses, or mistreats an object from the other person, it becomes harder to argue that future trust should be earned.

Dating apps promised efficiency, swipe, match, meet someone great. What they actually delivered is a never-ending archive of bios that read like ransom notes and opening lines that should come with a warning label. These 27 fails capture the current state of modern dating, where "just looking for my person" sits two matches away from a guy whose entire profile is a photo of his motorcycle and zero personality traits.

Turns out you actually wanted it; you just realized it 10 years later!

We all use the strategies we can to obtain what we want. In a world where money doesn't grow on trees, it seems that some people are willing to push logic to its very edges to feel like they're entitled to something.

This sister-in-law didn't waste a second of her time debating whether she was in the wrong; she knew it was ridiculous from the start, but hey, she got to experience her present for ten long years, right?

When it has already gone too far to admit that you're wrong.

If you ever worked in the servicing industry or in customer service, you know that customers can be wrong. Like completely and utterly wrong about anything you can imagine. The thing is that most times they know they are but continue anyway. Almost as if being wrong is better than admitting that you were confused. Being ignorant being better than saying the truth. That fear of admitting wrongness will always amaze me because it has become even more common in the last few years. We can even see it in social media, where being mistaken is reason enough to tease someone forever. That made us all think that it is better to know we are wrong and just pretend we aren't.

​There is that moment when it hits you. You realize how wrong you were and how late it is to admit it. You start thinking about saying the truth, which makes it worse, as now more time has gone by. Now, if you admit it, you are not only dumb, but also you overreacted to something that was 100% your fault. In this Reddit story, I believe that is what happened. This guest was wrong, and I believe that mid-conversation, when she had already denied and made a scene, she realized she was wrong. But it had already gone too far. She had to stick to the lie because it would be worse to admit that all that mess was for nothing.

Maybe it is better to be truthful, but to admit that you are wrong when you already exaggerated the situation, and everything went too far. You need a kind of self-esteem that not a lot of people have to admit when you were wrong. But that will always be more valuable than pride.

Malicious compliance, the only way to work in the corporate world right now.

You go to work as an IT employee, and something happens, a system went down, the wifi disconnected, whatever. When that occurs, you start fixing it, not realizing it's already 12:30 and you have between 12 and 1 pm to take your lunch. You decide to ignore that, as this problem is far more important, and for one day you can take your lunch at another time. When you fix the issue, it is already past 1 o'clock, but you go to lunch anyway. After eating, you go back to your desk only to find your boss being mad at you for taking your lunch at a time that isn't the assessed one. There is no room for explaining, so you just comply.

A couple of days later, a power outage makes the whole network go down. This is critical, but it is already 12:30, so you can't stay, as you don't want your boss to be mad at you again. You go to lunch, and after 30 minutes you're back. At your desk is your boss, who was waiting for you to come back. He isn't happy, and as soon as he sees you, he just says: "The network is up, by the way!" You are done. Officially, you have a target on your back, and it wasn't really malicious compliance. It was just doing what you were told to avoid having your boss mad at you again. That is the corporate world.

Now this Reddit user who shares this story is looking for some help in the matter. But the reality is that he already has the target on his back. They are going to be looking more closely at him, just waiting for any tiny mistake to get him fired. So if he asked me, I would tell him to start updating his resume. 

Should you sacrifice your financial future to help a sibling you barely speak to?

A hardworking girl was gifted $24,000 from an elderly neighbor who watched her grow up, hoping she'd use the money for her future. The parents insisted she had to give part of it to help her complicated brother, who, apparently, was not doing well in life and needed a bit of a push. This Colorado girl asked for help in r/family since she found herself with her hands tied and lost on how to proceed with this situation.

I get very upset when I encounter stories like this where parents are very clearly inclined to help one of the siblings, leaving the other in a very tight situation with little to no capacity to respond. This girl was lucky enough to receive that huge gift from her neighbor, and doesn't have to share with anyone she's not comfortable with. And, especially not with her brother, whose attitude and behavior made her childhood a struggle.

My complaint here is with the parents, who I definitely do not understand. I cannot comprehend how they can act like his son is an angel and pretend the girl gave half of the money to buy him a trailer. I'll say that, from the parents' point of view, it may sound logical to give the man a little help in life, at least until he can get it together. That's not a problem for me. The issue starts when they ask the daughter to lend the money and put her in that awkward situation.

Hosting a large family gathering is no picnic. Unless it is, in fact, a picnic. 

But that, itself, really makes you wonder why picnics are regarded as something that is "easy," as the idiom suggests, considering all the planning and baking that goes into making a picnic happen. 

The sooner you figure out that when it comes to job, the grass is brown on one side and browner on the other no matter where you work, the betterBecause people love to fantasize about escaping corporate jobs. No HR, no rules, no endless processes. Just a small business, good vibes, and everything running on trust.Then reality hits.

Are the 'little things' really so little?

Nobody else but us can say what's important for us in our friendships and in our lives. When we constantly feel somebody else doesn't listen to us, it's ok to listen to that feeling, but sometimes we get glimpses of something else that might be going on. It's always ok to try to have an honest conversation with ourselves, or with a forum on the internet lol, and see whether we are exaggerating through our pretensions or not.  

This Redditor is going through something similar and is currently wondering whether to go with his gut and classify it as an energy mismatch or question his feelings of inadequacy. What do you think it is?

How many times have you put your foot in your mouth during a work call? 

Sometimes we are just too stressed or too sleepy to take good care of our words. So, there might be some communication mess-ups at work from time to time. Of course, we never intend to offend anyone or be disrespectful, but we're still only human. We make mistakes when we talk all the time. 

Redditor u/Sad-Supermarket-3878 unfortunately misspoke while on the phone with a female client. He was in the car with his wife going to the gym early in the morning and half asleep. Then he got an urgent call with this client. After the chat ended, he just so happened to also be in the middle of saying goodbye to his wife and accidentally said, "I love you" to his client. Both the client and his wife laughed it off and made fun of him, so all's well that ends well. However, the call was recorded and audited, and the HR department was not so happy about it.

If you're gonna stumble over your words every now and then, I think it's a lovely thing that the first thing that comes out of your mouth is an expression of endearment. It means that you're lucky, you have love in your life, and you acknowledge that often enough to say it without a second thought. It would have been way worse if he had said something bad or something insulting. Granted, HR needs to take care of the company's integrity; that's their priority, but still, it could have definitely been worse. All in all, it's not the mistake of the year, just a silly anecdote to tell over family gatherings, and HR is out of line for those write-ups!